My gosh, so I'm FINALLY writing on this blog with the sun's rays hitting my new mattress w/ no bed stand while I am sitting on my 24.99 Target desk chair with wheelies. Right at this moment, I feel content for some reason. I managed to zone out all the things I have to do and just blog in response to your vulnerable post that I applaud you for being so open about (kiss kiss). Yann Tierson's score to Amelie helps, which I hope you have listened to by the way because I remember sending it to you in Hong Kong!

I am SO not used to this quarter system...I am fretting about the thought of midterms in just a few weeks already. BUT, right now, I am totally devoting myself to this blog. Last night, I was just talking to my roommate Katie about my wanting a relationship and of course I bring myself to explaining why I even want a relationship in the midst of all this craziness and time of my life where I'm desperately trying to find my "purpose" and "niche" so I can just have some kind of control over my future. Then I see the hopeless romantic self in me suffice and I think back to your last entry...where all your concerns are all the things I want in the process of falling hard for someone. How cheeeesy, I know, but honestly Vicky, that 'embarrassing' sexcapade you shared--you couldn't have wanted a better person to have that with, except with the guy you feel most comfortable around and with the guy who makes you feel simply happy! Now here's the scary part. You finally found a good thing and you're afraid that you can't be this happy without a significant other, but girl, take it for it is and live in the moment. It's your first relationship! I can totally understand that you've reached that point where you've developed such strong feelings that you don't feel "in control" anymore. I think that's the beauty of it though, which is where my hopeless romantic side comes out. It's a part of falling in love and going to a place where you and Mike are charting new territories of being completely intimate and comfortable, learning nuances with your relationship to eachother. I got giddy from reading your blog because you're in your first real relationship, and it's such a beautiful thing to experience! You never forget your first love! All I gotta say now is that I hope it works out, and you will learn alot about yourself and what complements/supplements you in compatibility. I don't even know if this is relevant anymore since you're busy in school now doing yo thang, but I seriously don't think you'll have a dependency on him as a source of happiness. It's scary at first cause you're just realizing that you're falling pretty hard for the guy, but I assure you, you're okay. :) As social animals, we humans are I think programmed to yearn for companionship, so on your bad days, it's understandable that you turn to Michael. He's your security and the guy you know you've learned to depend on to be there for you at your worst, accepting you for all that you are. I'm glad you found that. Now you be glad too and don't complain. :D

CALL ME WHENEVER YOU WANNA JUST RANDOMLY VENT OK! I'm here.

bisou

posted by Angie at 3:26 PM