So I was pretty nervous about it and I woke up really early today because of nerves. How silly is that?! I know she sees plenty of hairy crotches day in and day out, but the idea of dropping my pants and spreading my legs for a stranger is quite nerve-wracking!
I also took two Advils an hour before, since all I could imagine in my head were my loud, glass-shattering screams reverberating through the entire salon, and that's a no bueno situation to be in. But oh my gosh, it was love at first sight when I met Bee, the waxer lady. She's such a cool, chill girl. The kind I want to be my BFF. I had to resist the urge to say, "Hey, let's go out for drinks after you finish ripping my pubes out!" (well, something like that). and I don't know if it's the ibuprofen or my high pain tolerance (which I was not aware I had) or her skills, but it barely hurt! It was truly equivalent to ripping off a band aid.
And how weird is it to look at yourself afterwards? I don't recall the last time I looked like that down there!! I am increasingly aware of how old I am now. I am always having moments where I realize this. Just the other day, I was talking to my oldest friend (from 5th grade) and we were talking about her reaching third base and things of that sort and I thought, "THIS is the girl I used to pass notes to in class? The girl I used to talk to about getting my first period and buying my first bra? HOW DID WE GET TO THIS POINT?!" Oh how life passes us by...
bisou bisou ♥
posted by Vicky at
3:40 PM
Awww shiet...I am back in school!
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
My gosh, so I'm FINALLY writing on this blog with the sun's rays hitting my new mattress w/ no bed stand while I am sitting on my 24.99 Target desk chair with wheelies. Right at this moment, I feel content for some reason. I managed to zone out all the things I have to do and just blog in response to your vulnerable post that I applaud you for being so open about (kiss kiss). Yann Tierson's score to Amelie helps, which I hope you have listened to by the way because I remember sending it to you in Hong Kong!
I am SO not used to this quarter system...I am fretting about the thought of midterms in just a few weeks already. BUT, right now, I am totally devoting myself to this blog. Last night, I was just talking to my roommate Katie about my wanting a relationship and of course I bring myself to explaining why I even want a relationship in the midst of all this craziness and time of my life where I'm desperately trying to find my "purpose" and "niche" so I can just have some kind of control over my future. Then I see the hopeless romantic self in me suffice and I think back to your last entry...where all your concerns are all the things I want in the process of falling hard for someone. How cheeeesy, I know, but honestly Vicky, that 'embarrassing' sexcapade you shared--you couldn't have wanted a better person to have that with, except with the guy you feel most comfortable around and with the guy who makes you feel simply happy! Now here's the scary part. You finally found a good thing and you're afraid that you can't be this happy without a significant other, but girl, take it for it is and live in the moment. It's your first relationship! I can totally understand that you've reached that point where you've developed such strong feelings that you don't feel "in control" anymore. I think that's the beauty of it though, which is where my hopeless romantic side comes out. It's a part of falling in love and going to a place where you and Mike are charting new territories of being completely intimate and comfortable, learning nuances with your relationship to eachother. I got giddy from reading your blog because you're in your first real relationship, and it's such a beautiful thing to experience! You never forget your first love! All I gotta say now is that I hope it works out, and you will learn alot about yourself and what complements/supplements you in compatibility. I don't even know if this is relevant anymore since you're busy in school now doing yo thang, but I seriously don't think you'll have a dependency on him as a source of happiness. It's scary at first cause you're just realizing that you're falling pretty hard for the guy, but I assure you, you're okay. :) As social animals, we humans are I think programmed to yearn for companionship, so on your bad days, it's understandable that you turn to Michael. He's your security and the guy you know you've learned to depend on to be there for you at your worst, accepting you for all that you are. I'm glad you found that. Now you be glad too and don't complain. :D
CALL ME WHENEVER YOU WANNA JUST RANDOMLY VENT OK! I'm here.
bisou
I am SO not used to this quarter system...I am fretting about the thought of midterms in just a few weeks already. BUT, right now, I am totally devoting myself to this blog. Last night, I was just talking to my roommate Katie about my wanting a relationship and of course I bring myself to explaining why I even want a relationship in the midst of all this craziness and time of my life where I'm desperately trying to find my "purpose" and "niche" so I can just have some kind of control over my future. Then I see the hopeless romantic self in me suffice and I think back to your last entry...where all your concerns are all the things I want in the process of falling hard for someone. How cheeeesy, I know, but honestly Vicky, that 'embarrassing' sexcapade you shared--you couldn't have wanted a better person to have that with, except with the guy you feel most comfortable around and with the guy who makes you feel simply happy! Now here's the scary part. You finally found a good thing and you're afraid that you can't be this happy without a significant other, but girl, take it for it is and live in the moment. It's your first relationship! I can totally understand that you've reached that point where you've developed such strong feelings that you don't feel "in control" anymore. I think that's the beauty of it though, which is where my hopeless romantic side comes out. It's a part of falling in love and going to a place where you and Mike are charting new territories of being completely intimate and comfortable, learning nuances with your relationship to eachother. I got giddy from reading your blog because you're in your first real relationship, and it's such a beautiful thing to experience! You never forget your first love! All I gotta say now is that I hope it works out, and you will learn alot about yourself and what complements/supplements you in compatibility. I don't even know if this is relevant anymore since you're busy in school now doing yo thang, but I seriously don't think you'll have a dependency on him as a source of happiness. It's scary at first cause you're just realizing that you're falling pretty hard for the guy, but I assure you, you're okay. :) As social animals, we humans are I think programmed to yearn for companionship, so on your bad days, it's understandable that you turn to Michael. He's your security and the guy you know you've learned to depend on to be there for you at your worst, accepting you for all that you are. I'm glad you found that. Now you be glad too and don't complain. :D
CALL ME WHENEVER YOU WANNA JUST RANDOMLY VENT OK! I'm here.
bisou
bisou bisou ♥
posted by Angie at
3:26 PM
Awww Shiet! I suck at blogging!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Oh, our poor abandoned blog. My bad! But here I am!! And um, so much for calling me later today after leaving LAX! haha I kid, maybe you can blog about your great SF trip and we can get this blog ball rolling?!
So, you've probably witnessed what an incoherent storyteller I am, at least where personal issues are concerned. Like at the airport, and in the car after Boiling Crab. I am always forgetting little details and saying things out of chronological order. I forgot to mention that the SECOND time we tried (and failed), I literally CRIED. WHO cries after a failed attempt at sex!? Vicky does. I think you of all people would be most understanding about this though. Let me paint the picture for you: I had been anticipating (and expecting) this for SO long. Everyone was hinting to me very explicitly that this trip would be when it would happen - you, some of my high school friends, Stefan, my mom, Michael's mom, EVERYONE. So when the time finally came, and I was SO CLOSE to achieving this goal of sorts, I felt like I had an audience waiting for me to seal the deal! haha this sounds ridiculous. But yeah, after it was clear that I wasn't getting any action that day, I said to Michael, "I think I'm going to cry." and I DID. And as he was trying to console me, I realized that he had to be pretty disappointed with that day's outcome too. Yet he put aside all of his expectations and tried so hard to convince me it was really okay. That I was a silly crybaby. And at that moment, I thought to myself, "Ya know Vicky, you big blubbering mess, you might really love this guy." This trip changed a lot of things for us. And one of the bigger things is we have acknowledged the L word. I contemplated this issue a lot, comparing our relationship to the typical college relationship (not that I know much about those). I thought it was too soon to even think about 143; we spend more time apart than together, I mean c'mon! But I realized that our circumstances are so different. I really don't have a set of guidelines to abide by. I knew that if I didn't actually feel love for him, saying it would feel wrong. Hearing him say it would make me squirmish. But lo and behold, it all felt natural and right.
I also feel like I've gotten to know Michael SO much better, saw a side of him that I may never have seen in Hong Kong, because he's different in his own element, interacting with his family and old friends. And after really LIVING with him for 20 days straight, seeing him when I wake up, seeing him when I fall asleep, and everything inbetween, little things about him are bound to start bugging me, right? I tend to amplify people's flaws the longer the relationships drag on. I'm also no good at letting go of people's flaws very easily. But at the end of the 20 days, I pretty much had nothing to complain about. THIS IS MAJOR! For my first real relationship, this is a pretty great starting point. Except on my bad days back here in California, I feel vulnerable and too reliant on him for happiness; like, without him I am lonely. Before, I always felt like I was the one in control because he seemed to like me more than I liked him. But that's not true anymore, and it scares me a little. What if I'm one of those people who only feel fully content when I'm in a relationship? I always hated when acquaintances complained about being single, like they couldn't find happiness and wholeness through their own efforts. Oy.
You know, this is the first time these thoughts have left my brain. It feels good to let it out. I'm really not used to blogging and talking about myself so much. I almost feel uncomfortable being this self-involved. So I'll stop here. The floor is yours, darling!
bisou bisou ♥
posted by Vicky at
8:39 PM
Awww shiet...Suck that dick!
Thursday, July 16, 2009
VULGAR! TO THE XXXTREME!
I thought this would catch your attention. I instant messaged my friend Cary in Jersey with the opening statement of, " I invited Robert over for breakfast on Monday and I'm making scrambled eggs and Belgian waffles (okay I'm toasting those) !" He replied..."SUCK THAT DICK."
Sounds ridiculous but it's straight to the point. No greeting, just the message. I was caught off guard but in reality, it's a piece of advice that ultimately leads to my raging sexual hormones wanting to follow that advice in hopes of receiving sexual gratification. Not that I'm saying I'm going to do that exactly, but you get the point. I want me some loving!
I'm not in a position to say I want to be with him again, but this is a see saw you hear about so much that I really just have to finally approach with some kind of action. My imbalance of hormones, ones that cause acne and arousal alike, and analytical situations from my feelings for him has gotten the best of me and this is what happened. He is definitely not going to pursue me for all fairness so I am! I've gone back and forth, and then back and forth again with making a direct move since I analyze so much with our baggage and history. Not to mention my pride!! But yeah, I didn't want to ask for a dinner or lunch because that seems scarier for some reason. Is that weird? I just thought a cooked breakfast to start off our days in the intimate and casual settings of my home sounded more "in control" on my part. There's no money involved and a gesture such as cooking for him seems nice and simple in a way where I can let him know I am interested still!
Cary quoted Bruce Springsteen's lyrics saying that, " You can't start a fire without a spark." he was right. We don't regularly talk and we haven't been flirting. But you know what what, I'm gonna try to ignite that spark! I am going a little out of the way, but I figured that I will always wonder if we don't give us another shot. Doesn't mean I'm asking him to jump in on commitment, because god knows I just want to start all over if any fire starts. Unless he is that way, but I wont find out til then. (By the way, at the end of the text he was like...'Wait, am I eating with your parents too?') Okay, rambling. ANYway. It's just a breakfast that can become another beginning or become an end a relationship that has been questionable since I've come back from abroad. I would love to analyze and talk more about it (cause I just loveeee going on and on...ugh) but the more details, the more expectations can arise from something not yet determined! Until then...
Bisou Bisou,
Angie
I thought this would catch your attention. I instant messaged my friend Cary in Jersey with the opening statement of, " I invited Robert over for breakfast on Monday and I'm making scrambled eggs and Belgian waffles (okay I'm toasting those) !" He replied..."SUCK THAT DICK."
Sounds ridiculous but it's straight to the point. No greeting, just the message. I was caught off guard but in reality, it's a piece of advice that ultimately leads to my raging sexual hormones wanting to follow that advice in hopes of receiving sexual gratification. Not that I'm saying I'm going to do that exactly, but you get the point. I want me some loving!
I'm not in a position to say I want to be with him again, but this is a see saw you hear about so much that I really just have to finally approach with some kind of action. My imbalance of hormones, ones that cause acne and arousal alike, and analytical situations from my feelings for him has gotten the best of me and this is what happened. He is definitely not going to pursue me for all fairness so I am! I've gone back and forth, and then back and forth again with making a direct move since I analyze so much with our baggage and history. Not to mention my pride!! But yeah, I didn't want to ask for a dinner or lunch because that seems scarier for some reason. Is that weird? I just thought a cooked breakfast to start off our days in the intimate and casual settings of my home sounded more "in control" on my part. There's no money involved and a gesture such as cooking for him seems nice and simple in a way where I can let him know I am interested still!
Cary quoted Bruce Springsteen's lyrics saying that, " You can't start a fire without a spark." he was right. We don't regularly talk and we haven't been flirting. But you know what what, I'm gonna try to ignite that spark! I am going a little out of the way, but I figured that I will always wonder if we don't give us another shot. Doesn't mean I'm asking him to jump in on commitment, because god knows I just want to start all over if any fire starts. Unless he is that way, but I wont find out til then. (By the way, at the end of the text he was like...'Wait, am I eating with your parents too?') Okay, rambling. ANYway. It's just a breakfast that can become another beginning or become an end a relationship that has been questionable since I've come back from abroad. I would love to analyze and talk more about it (cause I just loveeee going on and on...ugh) but the more details, the more expectations can arise from something not yet determined! Until then...
Bisou Bisou,
Angie
bisou bisou ♥
posted by Angie at
4:08 PM